Wednesday, 5 January, 2005, 22:37 GMT

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Tsunami

Waves of Aid hit Asia

On landing in Banda Aceh, Mr Powell was heard to exclaim "Good God, I've never seen journalists on a scale such as this before!"

International aid has begun pouring in to stricken coastal provinces affected by the Asian Quake-Tsunami Disaster in the largest humanitarian relief effort since placating American housewives after Janet Jackson exposed a breast during half-time at the Superbowl.

An earthquake in the Indian Ocean at 0058GMT on December 26th, measuring 9.0 on the Richter scale, caused a vast tidal wave which hit Indonesia, India, Thailand and Sri Lanka amongst others. It has so far resulted in 150,000 deaths according to recent UN estimates.

Over $3bn has now been pledged by the international community, just over a tenth coming from the United States, who are currently responsible for a quarter of the World's carbon dioxide emissions.

US Secretary of State Colin Powell today paid a whistle-stop tour to the region and expressed his horror at the destruction brought about by the wave. Jeb Bush, President Bush's brother and governor of the hurricane-struck state of Florida, accompanied Powell on the visit. "I've seen a few disasters, like when Georgie almost lost," he explained to the amassed press, "And this sure looks like a disaster to me."

Vital Statistics: International Aid
US Donation to Florida Storm Aid Effort: $7.1bn US Daily Expenditure in Iraq Occupation: $177m US Weekly Expenditure in Iraq Occupation: $1.2bn US Donation to Tsunami Aid Effort: $350m British Donation to Tsunami Aid Effort: $240m Japanese Donation to Tsunami Aid Effort: $500m Mozambique Donation to Tsunami Aid Effort: $100,000 US Generosity When Not Directly Affected: 0.4% of World Average

Meanwhile, the rest of the world has been digging deep to provide donations wherever it can. In Britain, a three-minute silence was held at noon on Wednesday, to give Tony Blair a chance to explain why he didn't come back from holiday as soon as news of the disaster broke.

"Basically," he explained, "I thought everybody would be too busy grumbling about the Americans' pitiful donation to notice I was still in Egypt. But I came back as soon as I realised John Prescott was in charge of the country!"

The disaster has also affected pun-writers, who are finding 'tsunami' a difficult word to rhyme, or indeed to make sound like anything at all. "It's dead easy to rhyme 'quake', with 'shake' or 'break', and tornadoes are called 'twisters' and stuff..." explained tabloid pun-writer Marvin X. Wilcox, "What this disaster needs is a catchier name!"

EDITORIAL NOTE

The British public have so far raised more than £78m for the disaster appeal fund. If you wish to give money to help the victims of this disaster, please follow the links in the 'related links' box to the right, and find out how you can contribute.

KTAB News would like to offer its condolences to all those affected by this tragedy, and offers its hope to those still waiting for news of friends and family who have gone missing since Boxing Day.