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Iranian missiles not a hit with Israel
Consternation has gripped the Middle East after Iran tested a new range of ballistic missiles. The weapons’ reported range is 1,242 miles, or approximately half a Middle East—‘Which is pretty handy if you’re in the middle, eh?!’ joked Iranian general General Bighouse, scratching his trigger finger.
Voters Rob Mugabe: Half Zimbabwe to democracy
Greeted with news that opposition leaders in Zimbabwe had declared victory in the country's elections, clinching a majority over the oppressive Zanu-PF for the first time since 1980, incumbent Robert Mugabe declared 'OK... how about best of three?'
EUnuchs: Labour lack balls for Lisbon referendum
The Tories today tried to take Labour to task over breaking manifesto promises, recommending that MPs vote for a referendum about the sexed-down EU constitution.
Iron Curtains: End in sight for Putin's Russia
Following his unexpected win in last week's Russian Presidential elections, the mysterious victor Dmitry Medvedev has promised radical reform of his country, intending to act in stark contrast to his predecessor, Vladimir Putin.
Bear Unrest-ities: Gibbons home after teddy row Baloo over
A British schoolteacher in Sudan jailed for naming a teddy bear 'Muhammad' has now been allowed to come home after it emerged that this was totally unreasonable and stupid.
Cartoon Capers: Bad image riots no joke
Controversy, deaths and the charred remains of embassies lie in the wake of the continuing protests over some not-very-funny cartoons published in Danish paper Jyllands-Posten last year.
On The Rocks: Spying slander after Russia finds UK "precious stone"
Russia this week accused British diplomatic officials of collaborating with workers from Russian NGOs to spy on them. The "spies" allegedly loitered suspiciously around a "fake rock" containing a wireless transceiver which downloaded secret data from their pocket PCs.
Watch the Birdie: World looks on in panic as avian flu spreads to Europe
With human bird flu cases now confirmed as far west as the fringes of Europe, an emergency summit was called in China inviting countries to donate funds before the virus mutates into a form which might make it dangerous to rich people who don't live with their chickens.
Iranians Look To Uranium: Iran asked to power down nuclear programme
The IAEA will shortly decide whether or not to refer Iran to the UN Security Council for trying to bring its electricity system up to speed with those in the West.