Our story starts on the eve of Christmas 1999. It’s about mid-day, and you, our heroine, are carrying a largeish bag from "Glasso Unlimited: The Shop for All Your Chemical Supplies", with the word "festive" badly hung between "Your" and "Chemical" to indicate the seasonal joviality of the shopkeeper.
With a SupaSize bottle of "Mega-Chloro Low Cyanide Turkey Baste Solution" and three small cartons of "X-Nogg", you decide to go back to your car so as to not have to lug what is effectively three litres of industrial deodorant in a carrier bag.
As you leave the shop, you are caught in a chill breeze. Slippy compacted snow lies about compactly, there’s a large hole in the road with men digging in it to your left, and a sniper cunningly positioned atop the bank opposite for no adequately explored reason.
Do you...
Stay where you are. [P. 2]
Make a rudimentary petrol bomb using the turkey baste and lob it at the sniper. [P. 3]
Walk left. [P. 4]
Run right. [P. 5]
Skip forward. [P. 6]
Exercise a deft pirouette then walk right. [P. 7]